Things That Suck After a Stroke: Shaking a Drink

Last blog: typos-and-design I talked about mistakes I make after having a stroke.  Today I had a interview for a start up in midtown so I was dressed up.  Every time I go for a in person interview I stopped by a Starbucks to have a coffee and study before the interview starts.  When I was done, I wanted to get rid of the coffee.  I always carry a travel size bottle of mouthwash because I had coffee breath. I had a coffee in my right hand and a bottle of mouth in my left hand.  I went to throw the coffee and shake the bottle of mouthwash but I did the opposite. I knew it but I couldn't stop my body.  It was like a out if body experience, everything was in slow motion. I dumped out my mouthwash in the trash and I shaked my coffee splashing coffee all over my shirt.  So I was filthy and I have coffee breath. FML

I do this all the time.  Another example is when I peel a banana,  I go to throw out the peel but I throw the banana instead.  The part the bothers me is that I know what I am doing but I can't stop it. I do other thinks like touch hot skillets.  I think that skillet is hot I shouldn't touch that, 3 seconds later I burn my hand.  Doctors don't know why so for now I am cursed.

Typos and Design

After my stroke one of the things that bothers me the most are the typos I make. I just irks me because I proofread everything, and I read almost everything out loud.  It is a visual thing for me.  I meant to type "feel" but I typed "reel".  The "f" and the "r" are so close in some fonts that I didn't process it correctly.  Yet another reason way having a stroke sucks.

Hopefully I will update this blog more often than 2 a year.  I have a plan to way to make it better.  One way is to update the the layout/design.  I will take it in steps.  I am thinking of doing these updates in this order:

• header and title
• background
• fonts
• body
• widgets

Wish me luck!

What Does Rock Bottom Feel Like?

In the last 2 weeks I lost my job, and I lost the girl that I thought would be the 1st Mrs. BigLongBeach. The part that hurts the most is that I didn't get a reason why? It is creating a doubt in myself.

2014 I had a losing year in poker.  I was a solid winner in live cash games but I only won a few tournaments and I didn't cash in any of the higher buy in tournaments. The cash game wins weren't enough to make me even for the year.

All the weight I lost in 2012-2013 I gained it back plus another 20lbs.

So I am a loser in lover, a loser in my career, a loser in poker, and I am fat again!  The scary part is that this isn't rock bottom. What does rock bottom feel like?  I pity anyone that has hit that point.