Things That Suck After a Stroke: Shaking a Drink

Last blog: typos-and-design I talked about mistakes I make after having a stroke.  Today I had a interview for a start up in midtown so I was dressed up.  Every time I go for a in person interview I stopped by a Starbucks to have a coffee and study before the interview starts.  When I was done, I wanted to get rid of the coffee.  I always carry a travel size bottle of mouthwash because I had coffee breath. I had a coffee in my right hand and a bottle of mouth in my left hand.  I went to throw the coffee and shake the bottle of mouthwash but I did the opposite. I knew it but I couldn't stop my body.  It was like a out if body experience, everything was in slow motion. I dumped out my mouthwash in the trash and I shaked my coffee splashing coffee all over my shirt.  So I was filthy and I have coffee breath. FML

I do this all the time.  Another example is when I peel a banana,  I go to throw out the peel but I throw the banana instead.  The part the bothers me is that I know what I am doing but I can't stop it. I do other thinks like touch hot skillets.  I think that skillet is hot I shouldn't touch that, 3 seconds later I burn my hand.  Doctors don't know why so for now I am cursed.

Typos and Design

After my stroke one of the things that bothers me the most are the typos I make. I just irks me because I proofread everything, and I read almost everything out loud.  It is a visual thing for me.  I meant to type "feel" but I typed "reel".  The "f" and the "r" are so close in some fonts that I didn't process it correctly.  Yet another reason way having a stroke sucks.

Hopefully I will update this blog more often than 2 a year.  I have a plan to way to make it better.  One way is to update the the layout/design.  I will take it in steps.  I am thinking of doing these updates in this order:

• header and title
• background
• fonts
• body
• widgets

Wish me luck!

What Does Rock Bottom Feel Like?

In the last 2 weeks I lost my job, and I lost the girl that I thought would be the 1st Mrs. BigLongBeach. The part that hurts the most is that I didn't get a reason why? It is creating a doubt in myself.

2014 I had a losing year in poker.  I was a solid winner in live cash games but I only won a few tournaments and I didn't cash in any of the higher buy in tournaments. The cash game wins weren't enough to make me even for the year.

All the weight I lost in 2012-2013 I gained it back plus another 20lbs.

So I am a loser in lover, a loser in my career, a loser in poker, and I am fat again!  The scary part is that this isn't rock bottom. What does rock bottom feel like?  I pity anyone that has hit that point.

Live Poker

I am playing in a local MTT tournament in NY. It the buy-in is $50 plus $15 for the house.  Most online grinders will say the rake is too high but the field is so soft that is very profitable.  There are between 35-50 runners and the top prize is between $900-$1300.  They normally pay 3 tops and the 4th place player gets a seat in the next game.

I normally take the tournament down once a month, and I cash 1-2 times each month.  The players are so bad and so nasty. They are one of the reasons that I didn't play poker full time, I didn't want to be like them.  I didn't want to be like those overweight, smelly, sloppy, bad skin, angry, ugly people. I was turning into one of them. I made a lot of money but my social life suffered.

At the time I reached that point of no return I met a person that took me his wing and gave me a new career.

I just ran deep in today's tournament.  I ran my trips to the villains trips with a bigger kicker.  It's hard to run so deep and not win it. I am happy I played better,  I made a good all-in bet with 99 on a Q high.  I opened UTG with villain 3bet on the button.  The villain slow played AA earlier and I have seen him squeeze A7o so I felt that he was weak. I wanted to see a flop and go all-in any flop without a ace or K. I pushed and called off with just K high. It ran true and I built a nice stack.

I need to get better at reading weakness. I end up in to many 50/50 pots. I need to push them out more on turns and flops.  I still have many holes in my tourament game.

Fat Guys In Hip Hop

This is what I'm listening to when I'm grinding.  I am up 5 Buy-ins

Building Sound Fundamentals

Staking - Losing a Horse

My main horse had a good run of cards and wanted to be own his own.  He was crushing a 5/5 NLH game in NY.  Then he wins or had deep runs in the cash in tournaments. Now he has a bankroll.  He wanted to be on his own.

He is a good friend of mine, and was OK with with him being on his own.  He has his own money but had it was tied up in his new house.  He didn't want to risk the loses since he also took a break from the game and was rusty.  So I staked him.  The rust is off and is playing winning poker. I am happy for him.

I other horse is another subject. He is concentrating on school and sports betting.  His poker is suffering due to it.